Debra Arlyn Rose
2 min readNov 23, 2020


“Divorce is not a failure or punishment — it is an opportunity for you to start THRIVING and creating a life you WANT to live.”


I get a fire in my belly when I see women struggling, confused and unhappy in their relationship — yet clinging to beliefs that don’t empower them to make choices in their own best interest.

# 1 — “If I just love the other person “harder” — I can avoid divorce.” 👉 This is a heavy message for women struggling with codependency and/or perfectionism.

Women, turn your love and attention INWARD — give that “bigger”, “harder” love to yourself, and say: “If I start loving myself more, I can make it no matter what happens.”

# 2 — “Something has to go terribly wrong in order for divorce to be justified.” 👉 Things going wrong is just a symptom of the root problem. If we wait until there is a major bomb going off {or several, like I did} we are unknowingly subjecting ourselves to possibly years of trauma and distress.

Instead women, ask: “Do I feel safe in this relationship?” “Am I allowed to be myself?” “When I wake up in the morning, do I feel free? Or trapped?”

#3 — “It’s easier to stay in the marriage than it is to be alone.” 👉 Nothing fuels the fear of a woman struggling with low self worth more than this false belief!

Women, I am hear to remind you that so far you have 100% success rate of overcoming hard things in your life! 🤗 Being single will bring new challenges — but you have everything inside you needed to “make it”. Its not a choice of what is “easier” — but what is more “fulfilling” and leading you towards WHOLENESS.

#4 — “What you’re wanting doesn’t exist, be content with what you have.” 👉 This is purely a shaming tactic from others who did not have the courage to ask for what they truly wanted in life.

Women, we create what we expect. If we have the courage to make hard choices and hold out for what we KNOW is best for us — it can and will happen! 🙏 Embody this belief daily: “What I am longing for is inside of me for a reason — it is trying to get my attention so that I will make a healthy choice for myself. I deserve to have what I long for.”

#5 — “Everyone who has gotten divorced regrets it.” 👉 Those who think simply getting a divorce is the “answer” — would regret it!!

Women, in order to avoid regret, use your divorce as a platform to find your authentic self. HEAL, GROW + BECOME the highest version of you! Divorce is not a failure or punishment — it is an opportunity for you to start THRIVING and creating a life you WANT to live💛



Debra Arlyn Rose

Spiritual Self Worth Coach & Award Winning Songstress who empowers heart centered women to trust their intuition and live their Soul purpose.